Does this home still fit?

This usually starts with a reason rather than a feeling. The reason is the useful part — it shapes most of what comes next, including whether moving is the answer at all.

It's usually a specific reason

The ones that come up:

• The kids have moved out, and it's more home than you want now.
• Evenings and weekends go into working on the house instead of enjoying them.
• You chose the neighbourhood for the schools, and life happens somewhere else now.
• The family's growing and the space has run out — bedrooms, a yard, somewhere for the kids to play.
• A separation, where neither of you can afford to buy the other out.

Each of those is specific, and that helps. A specific reason can be tested against a specific answer.

Right-sizing goes both ways

Right-sizing is the better word here, because the same decision runs in both directions. A first home, a bigger one for a growing family, or something more manageable once the home has emptied out — the same question, asked from different ends.

Two different conversations

Moving up is often about money. What can we afford, what does moving cost, what happens if we stretch. Where that's the worry, it's usually said out loud in the first few minutes.

Right-sizing down can be about letting go. Years in the home. Neighbours. The volume of things that now have to be decided about, one at a time. The money question is still there, but it may not be the one keeping you awake.

Understanding what concerns you most is a great place to start. Someone who's dreading leaving a street where they know every neighbour isn't asking for a mortgage calculator.

The three questions I'd ask you first

• What would a good home for you now look like?
• When are you thinking about moving?
• What's your biggest concern about moving, right now?

The third one usually tells us the most. It's where the money worry or the letting-go shows up, and your answer changes what's worth talking about next.

What you don't have to do

You don't need your home showhome-ready, and you don't need to spend a lot getting it there.

It needs to be clean, attractive and desirable to the next right buyer of this home — not ready for the cover of a magazine. There's more on what work is worth doing here.

Sometimes, the answer is to stay

Two come up often enough to name.

The work is easier than the search. If changing this home to fit is more achievable than finding the one you want at the price you have, that's worth looking at first.

The need is short-lived. If what's changed will have changed back inside two years, moving can be an expensive way to solve a temporary problem.